Drowning in Diapers: Bad Habits?

Monday, October 02, 2006

Bad Habits?

Binky boy...

Quote of My Day...

"In any family, measles are less contagious than bad habits."
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

My Happiness Today...

Henry's cold is better. The rainy parade set him back a bit. Not as much snot to suck out with the snot catcher. That is my happiness today...

What I'm Thinking About...

In yesterday's paper (yes, our little small-town America paper) there was a syndicated article from the Chicago Tribune titled "New vaccines would immunize people against bad habits." Wow. Is this supernatural or what? Sounds too crazy to be true. Sounds like a series for the Sci Fi channel. Seriously though, if science can create such vaccines that would curb smoking, drug addiction and overeating, imagine the possibilities...

If I had the opportunity to give the scientists developing these vaccines my own two-cents (not likely since I'm just a SAHM), here is what I would suggest:

Invent a vaccine to prevent people from...

chewing with their mouth full of food
not washing their hands after using the "loo"
watching football when their wives want to watch Masterpiece Theater on PBS
not spaying or neutering their cats and/or dogs
talking loudly on their cell phone in public
driving, talking on their cell and eating while driving (all at the same time)
littering, especially in playgrounds where kids (like mine) pick up the trash and think it is a snack or a toy
planting fake flowers in their garden (yes, people actually do this)
wearing clothes that are ten sizes too small for them and thinking that they actually look good and are turning heads (they're turning them, just the wrong way)
driving in the left lane with no intention of passing anybody
talking during the movies, or worse, talking on their cell phone during a movie and not turning it to vibrate and letting it ring so the rest of the theater can hear it and their conversation
not flossing
not flushing toilets in public--how disgusting is that? Yet it happens...
not picking up their dog's poop when they do their business on the neighbor's lawn or in the local park or playground
thinking they don't need deodorant and acting upon it
installing sound systems in their car that vibrate so much and are so loud that you can feel (and hear) the car coming from a mile away
letting their kids run around with buggers on their sleeves--give them and teach them to use a tissue!
not putting the shopping carts back in the stall after unloading the stuff into their car
ending a sentence with a preposition
not putting money in Santa's bucket when he is standing outside of Walmart in the freezing cold collecting money for the Salvation Army (afterall, it is the army of "God")
not reading to their kids or encouraging their kids to read (we need a literate society)
going through the "express" line at the grocery store when there are more than the allotted number of items in their cart

These are just a few of my pet peeves that I really think the National Institutes of Health should pay attention to and invent a vaccine to prevent. Not that smoking, drug addiction and over eating aren't laudable habits to try and prevent. I just think they need to look at the big picture when it comes to bad habits because it would be a terrible thing to discriminate against those people with other bad habits that deserve a vaccine, wouldn't it?

Funny Video of the Day